Saturday, November 16, 2013

Love Forever


Are we expecting that the marriage will not work, so we have to sign a prenuptial agreement?

And if that contract goes unsigned, do we find ourselves at war with each other when we go in different directions?

What happened to “I love you more than anyone in the world”?

and

“We are going to be together forever”?
Those are some of the questions that cross my mind, each time that I meet with people who are going through or have had a “nasty” divorce or break-up. Those break-ups that became a fight about who will get the children, or who will get the house, or who will pay the debts. I am not saying that these agreements do not need to take place; I am saying that there are better, faster and even cheaper ways to settle those agreements.

Now that you are not with your partner, why can’t you love him/her like you would love another human being, your best friend, your brother/sister? Why that person needs to become your worst enemy? Some of you would say: “She/he does not want to be flexible or be reasonable”, “I can’t talk to him/her”, etc. There are many people that are wondering how I have a good relationship with my ex-husband where we are civilized and real friends.

Some of you could find this difficult to believe or understand. For us was an easy process because we have a deeper understanding beyond the material and emotional level and we did it in a spiritual level. Not only from an understanding of our personal lessons and with each other, knowing that a beautiful soul (our daughter) made us rejoin as a couple and be her parents, but also from our own life’s purpose point of view.

We truly understood that even though we were not a couple anymore or living under the same roof, we should give the best of ourselves to our daughter, be better human beings for us and for her. We continue to be friends as we did as a couple and with the love that we should have between human beings.

In this separation process we of course had our rough moments too, where we left our human nature, as I call it, to show up. Those situations were not only part of the “process”, but also were the one that left us the best lessons. When we were in those “situations/moments” I asked myself: “What should I learn about this?”, “what should I change on me, so it stops bothering me something about him?” (mirror law). We both achieved the growing needed, just opening our hearts.


Opening our hearts has been the biggest step that we have made in our spiritual path and the one that helped us to keep the goodness of our relationship, learn from the not so good and be the parents our daughter needs.

Opening your heart…
You do not think anymore that you are isolated being, but that you are part of family, a community, a whole.
You know that you have a life purpose.
You do not need to hurt anyone even though you get hurt.
You understand that the experiences you live in your life, you were the one who chose them to live even before you were born.
You know that you find masters/teachers in others and that you are one for others too.
You are not a victim of situations anymore, but an observer and student.
You do not take anything personal anymore.

The majority of the people that look for my help are the ones that have “trouble” in their relationships (I am attracting that to me, because I have learned very much about that and I would like to share it with others that are ready for a change in their lives). Throughout this path helping others, I have learned a very simple formula and that you can expect the same result when you apply it correctly, like a constant (remember my scientific background right?). Regardless of the situation you are or the challenges that your relationships bring to you at any moment, if you keep your heart open and see the other person involved as your brother/sister that can make mistakes and you as his/her brother/sister with the right to forgive, everything is easier and you avoid to fall into the “drama mode”, as I call it, and take each opportunity to grow and learn. Be aware of the opportunities others offer you and take advantage of them to grow and better yourself, do not take them as menaces that you have to defend against (we are not in the jungle anymore).

What this world needs is love and how we achieve that is a small scale, with your partner, with your children with your parents, at your work, with your friends and with the ones that you do not like too.

Everything is contagious, the good and the bad. Therefore if we see everything with love, experience life with love without judgments, that is also contagious. Do not worry if at the beginning of this practice you feel like a fish out of the water, I felt the same way, and in order to feel accepted by others I went back to the old model of behavior, criticizing everyone and always looking outside and not inside of me. But when I learned to be out of the drama and not inside of it, I felt better and could learn from the experience. Now I know that love is the answer and I am not afraid anymore to let whoever has to know that day. Even though I feel their mind saying: “this gal is crazy or weird” or “does she lives in this world full of hate?”, eventually something is going to let them see what I see, that might not be ready to hear that yet, and I will not force it either. I transform those judgments in love. More and more I am attracting people who needs to learn something from me (and vice versa) and I have less people around me that looks at me like I am talking Chinese to them (not one of the three languages I speak).
I invite you to open your heart and allow love to rule your life, it is easier this way.

With very much love and a rainbow for all of you.

As always I appreciate your comments or questions.



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