Balanced parents, balanced children

Most of the time children are the reflection of their parents, but of course, there are always exceptions and a lot of isolated cases out of this affirmation.

We are going to talk about the first affirmation now. Isolated cases or exceptions we could talk on individual basis.

We are more and more experiencing a different generation of children. They do not only know how to operate a cell phone, a computer, but also sometimes they prefer them over other things. Some people would say that this could be because they are exposed to those electronics that we were not exposed before, it could be, but knowing how to handle them sometimes before even you show them how, is another story.

Children of this era, not only know what they want, but also they are letting us know loudly. When I say loudly, I am not talking about yelling or screaming, I am talking about the strength of their will showing up as early as in the womb. Some of us could "hear" them and some could not. But either way we cannot deny that fact.

I have talked to several parents with different backgrounds and beliefs, and most of them affirmed that they know they have a different type of child at home that does not behave quite like they did when they were kids.

These children are more sensitive, more artistic, nature and animal lovers, fearless, just to mentioned a few characteristics. Some could be more active, even diagnosed with ADHD or similar. Others could be as calm as the water in a lake in the morning, and what they project is just love. Everywhere they go, they fill up the room with love.

We sometimes do not notice all these characteristics because we are too busy with our work, our partner, family, friends, economical problems or other things that we get distracted by in our lives. The fact that we do not see them does not mean that those characteristics are not present.

Our children on the other hand, they notice everything that happens in their surroundings, our surroundings and beyond. Closing your bedroom door, in order to get into a fight with your partner so your children can not hear you, does not work with this kind of children. They feel and see beyond all this. They feel there is trouble; they feel if you did not have a good day at work, they feel even who they can trust and who they cannot trust.

The best way to avoid losing your children's respect is to talk to them; and explain if needed, or clean the air of frustration before even picking them up at school or coming from work. Pretending that nothing happened when you have not really cleared the air of the heaviness of some feelings, is not the best way. Accepting those feelings, clearing them, forgiving (if it is the case) and moving on, works better.

Children of this era do not respect authority without a reason. If our grandparents or even our parents used to say: "Because I said so", and it worked for them, it does not mean it will work with our children.

The same way science and technology moves forward and develops new ways of doing things, parenthood and education need to do the same.

Wanting to raise our children with old schemes, will not only do not work, but also could frustrate their own life mission.

We choose our parents, family and lessons to learn even before birth. What happened is that in order to experience life we forget about all these in order to be surprised with what life has to offer. We spend great amount of time in our lives trying to find our life's purpose and we sometimes need spiritual guidance to find it. We could be those spiritual guides for our children if we want to.

However, we need to start with us:

- Are you happy at your workplace, with your partner, with your family?

- Do you know what your purpose in life is? Do you know how to find it?

- Do you want to improve the way you are raising your children?

The answers to these questions will give you an idea of where to start.

If you are not happy, how can your children will be happy?

If you do not know what your mission in life or life's purpose is, it is nearly impossible for you to help your children in finding and developing theirs!

Please do not hesitate in asking, comment anything this writing brings to your mind and heart. I am here to listen and may be help.

Education vs Love

Do you really think that an academic education is the best treasure you can give to your kids? Think twice.

Because of what I do, I have the opportunity to talk with a lot of adults and we talk about their past and their childhood and I do not recall anybody saying: “it was so much fun to learn how to multiply”, I used to love study more than 8 hours a day and then do homework, and I loved it!”, “I used to love school because they were so strict and they always put me in time out”,  “because I did not play too much when I was a kid, that is why I got my PhD”. NO.

They usually refer to their childhood or teen years as follows: “I used to go with my dad fishing and we had so much fun”, “my family and I used to spend time together at dinner and talk stories”, “I used to cook with my mom and we made cookies on Sunday night”, “my dad taught me how to drive”, my mom taught how to be very polite and compassionate with others”.

I am not saying education at school or university is not important, believe me I love it! I am an eternal student. What I am trying to say here is that sometimes we are focusing in how we are going to give our children something we did not have, or a better education so they are “someone” in the future, etc, that we forget that we can give them more and better things.

Why do not we switch gears and think for a moment: “What can I give to my child that it is not only going to last forever but it is going to make us bond as a family?” All the good memories that we keep in our mind are those that we were with people, and in growing up years that people are our parents or adults around us and our friends. They learn by example more than by words. 

If they see parents working, being discipline, eating well, loving themselves and others, how do you think that child is going to grow up doing? Yes, the same. We just have to relax and make it easier for all of us. What we can really teach at home that nowadays is missed in some schools is spirituality. 

That is big word for some of you, for others, it is a piece of cake. I am talking about purpose in life, know that there is something greater than us, that all of us are part of a whole and that is why we need to respect and love others as we love one of our legs, our eyes, and so on. If you do not love yourself, that is another story. You probably will work on that when you are ready, and teach that to your child.

That's all for now, I hope I gave something to think about or to talk about. My mom used to say: "it does not matter than others are talking good or bad about you; what really matters is that they ARE talking about you". 

Sign up for my newsletter or send me a comment if you like. Until then, just breathe.